To Wish Impossible Things
by Kelon
Summary: When Jay is accused of murder, will Erin have her partner's back and believe in his innocence?
1. Chapter 1

**To Wish Impossible Things**

Author: Kelon

Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners… none of which are me. I simply borrow them for my entertainment.

Summary: When Jay is accused of murder, will Erin have her partner's back and believe in his innocence?

Rating: T to M for cursing, violence and non-graphic romance.

Dedicated to two wonderful ladies: To my one true love, Angela – you make me want to be a better person every singly day. And to Sophia Bush. You inspire me to step out of my comfort zone and dare to try something for charity that seems impossible to do.

Author's notes: This story was inspired by obsessively watching the preview trailer for episode 10. The scene where Jay is leaving (the station, I think) and Erin comes running after him, grabs his arm to turn him around and talk to him, and the looks they exchange at the end of that conversation got me thinking – will Erin have her partner's back and believe his innocence? Or will she have doubts? I'm not sure where I am going to take this, but I really felt like putting it down on paper. I greatly welcome any and all feedback. Please review!

_Italics denotes thoughts.  
_

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**District 21 Police Department, Chicago, Illinois  
15 January, 2014 - 18:52 CST**

_This can't be happening, _ Jay thought as he was looking into Voight's face, the words that were spoken just moments ago still ringing in his ears. The entire Intelligence Unit was staring at them and you could hear a pin drop in the room at that moment. Jay slowly started shaking his head, wanting to tell him that this was wrong, but he was too shocked to articulate the words.

"I'll say it one more time," Voight said, his voice louder than the last time, holding out his hand and taking a step towards Jay. "Give me your badge and your gun, Halstead."

Wordlessly, Jay pulled out the requested items and dropped them into Voight's waiting hand. Turning around, he avoided eye contact with any of his colleagues as he quickly walked towards the exit.

* * *

As the scene played out in front of her very eyes, Erin Lindsay felt as if the air was being sucked out of the room, out of her lungs. She was confused, distraught by the shocking accusation that her partner was the prime suspect of a murder investigation. _This can't be real. He would never do that. _ She watched him intently from where she stood frozen in place. _Say something, Jay, _ she wanted to urge him. _Say it's not true. Get into Voight's face and tell him he is full of it! _ She didn't say it, though, and neither did Halstead.

She saw him wordlessly hand over his gun and badge, lower his gaze and turn around to swiftly walk out. She wanted him to look at her. She needed him to look at her, to look into his eyes and see for herself that the man who was her partner, the man who kept her thoughts pre-occupied when she was trying to fall asleep at night, did not do this horrible thing. But he didn't look up. He didn't look at her, or anyone else, before he exited.

The heavy silence that fell over the room was only disrupted by the loud bang of the door being thrown shut as Jay left. Erin flinched at the sound, and like a sprinter who heard the starting signal, her body started to take over and run after her partner.

* * *

Jay stood in silence for a moment after leaving the room, trying to control his breathing and gather his thoughts. It didn't feel real. What just happened didn't feel real. _We are one unit. One team. We got each other's back. If anyone else would have been accused of something like this, I would have spoken up. But they didn't. They didn't speak up. They didn't have my back. Which means that they don't think I'm innocent. _He shook his head and closed his eyes, trying to push back the tears. He took one deep breath and turned to continue getting out of here. He still had to walk out of the station, with everyone watching him. Judging him.

Before he reached the next door, he heard the door behind him being jerked open right before he was grabbed by the arm and spun around. Erin stood there, looking at him with wide eyes and a troubled look on her face. "Jay," she said in a low voice. She was still holding on to his arm and her eyes were searching his. "Tell me you didn't do this," she pleaded, her voice cracking under the emotional strain she was feeling.

He looked at her in disbelief. "You shouldn't have to ask me that, Lindsay," he said in an angry voice as he took a step back and pulled his arm from her so she had to let go of him. He glared at her for another moment before the tension left his shoulders as a feeling of defeat washed over him. He turned around and whispered, almost to himself, "If you knew me, you shouldn't have to ask me that at all." He started walking, not looking back at her and ignoring her calling his name.

* * *

**A bar near Jay's home, Chicago, Illinois  
15 January, 2014 - 21:31 CST**

Jay sat at a corner table by himself, a half empty bottle of whiskey and a full shot glass in front of him. The bar was fairly empty, and sensing his terrible mood, the few patrons that recognized him as a local didn't bother him in his quest to get wasted and forget his pain. _Tell me you didn't do this. _Erin's words were echoing in his mind, each time breaking his heart a bit more. He lifted the shot glass and downed the brown liquid that, at least for a moment, provided a distraction from his emotions.

The jukebox began playing another song, and Jay recognized the tune, but not the title. It was a slow song with a haunting melody, and Jay couldn't help but listen to it intently.

Remember how it used to be  
When the sun would fill the sky  
Remember how we used to feel  
Those days would never end  
Those days would never end

As he listened to the lyrics, he thought of Erin. How they would always argue in the car about who got to drive, with him always losing the argument, then pretending to be offended when in fact he didn't care because just being with her in the car was enough.

Remember how it used to be  
When the stars would fill the sky  
Remember how we used to dream  
Those nights would never end  
Those nights would never end

Memories of evenings at Erin's apartment flooded his mind, when they would just hang out with a box of pizza, a few cold brews and a game on TV. Something so simple, yet something so meaningful to him.

It was the sweetness of your skin  
It was the hope of all we might have been  
That filled me with the hope to wish  
Impossible things

He thought of the night they tried to go to Erin's high school reunion together. She looked so beautiful that evening, and even though he wasn't completely comfortable with the whole lying about being her fiancé thing, he couldn't help but remember how strangely good it felt to pretend for a moment that he was that important to her.

He almost could feel her touch when he recalled their conversation at the nearby bar they went to after they bailed out on the reunion. How she opened up to him and how he took her hand and made an unspoken pass at her. He wasn't upset that she said they couldn't. Because she left the door open for that to change in the future. And that hope was all he needed.

But now the sun shines cold  
And all the sky is grey  
The stars are dimmed by clouds and tears  
And all I wish  
Is gone away

_But now everything is different, _he thought solemnly. _She doesn't trust me. She doesn't believe in me. And I was a fool to wish impossible things. _

* * *

The song quoted is by The Cure. I don't own any rights to it or the group, either.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's notes: Wow! I am overwhelmed and humbled by all of the kind words, reviews, private messages and overall interest this story has generated. It means the world to me. I'm still figuring out where I will take this eventually (and I guess we will all find out more on Wednesday), but I have a pretty good idea about the next few chapters, at least. Without further ado, please enjoy chapter 2 below. As always, I greatly welcome any and all feedback. Please review!

_Italics denotes thoughts._

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**District 21 Police Department, Chicago, Illinois  
15 January, 2014 - 20:41 CST**

Erin was sitting at her desk, staring at the screen in front of her. She should be finishing her paperwork and get herself home, but that was not going to happen tonight. She hadn't touched the keyboard once since she had sat down. Since he left her like that.

Everybody had given her an uncomfortable look when she came back in, but she just ignored them and nobody dared saying something to her. Voight told everybody to call it a night, knowing that the news was just devastating on the team, and they all had left right after.

_If you knew me, you shouldn't have to ask me that at all._ His words were playing over and over in her mind. _Should I know better,_ she questioned herself. _I tried talking to him about what was going on, what was bothering him just yesterday, and he blew me off. How can I ignore that? _

She looked over to Halstead's empty desk and smiled sadly when she saw the usual paper chaos that was so typical for him. Banging her fist on her desk in frustration, she turned off her monitor, grabbed her coat and started walking out of the office. _Strange,_ she thought, looking back over her shoulder once she reached the door. _This morning, this felt like a safe place. Like home away from home. But now, all this place feels like is foreign. Cold. Empty. _ Letting her gaze wander over to Halstead's desk one last time, she sighed and walked out.

* * *

**Molly's Bar, Chicago, Illinois  
15 January, 2014 - 21:02 CST**

As Erin entered the bar, she felt like people around her were lowering their voices as she walked through the crowd. She saw Antonio, Adam and Alvin sitting together at a table by the bar, and when they noticed her, they stopped talking and just looked over to her.

She didn't know why, but it made her feel uncomfortable. She had figured that Jay would be ostracized while this whole investigation was going on. _But now I'm starting to feel like he's not the only one. _ Giving her colleagues a curt nod, she turned around and started walking out of the bar again.

Erin had almost reached her car when she heard her name being called. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Antonio jogging over to her.

"Lindsay, what was that," he questioned her as he reached her.

She looked down and uncomfortably fidgeted with her keys. "I don't know, Antonio. It just feels like everyone's looking at me like I must know something about what's going on, and I just can't deal with this."

"Hey, nobody is judging you, Erin," he said.

Erin took a deep breath, gathering her courage to ask the next question. Looking directly into his face, she asked, "Do you think he did it?"

Antonio shrugged. "I don't know, Erin. I really don't. There's something I need to tell you that you may not be aware of." Despite the severity of the accusations against Halstead, Voight hadn't briefed them on any of the details, so Antonio figured that Erin may be clueless regarding some of the things he had learned. "Do you want to go back inside? We don't have to sit with the others, but it's better than being out here in the cold."

Shaking her head, Erin responded, "Do you mind if we just sit in my car and talk?"

"Not at all."

They climbed into Erin's car and Erin turned to Antonio, waiting for him to speak.

"Do you know Lonnie Rodiger, the young man who was killed," he asked her, to which she shook her head. "He was accused of killing a neighbor's eight year old son. That was seven years ago. Halstead was dating the older sister of the victim at the time and found the little boy's body. There was a lot of evidence pointing towards Lonnie, but his father gave him an alibi and he was acquitted."

_Oh. My. God. _ Clearing her throat, Erin asked, "How do you know all of this?"

Antonio shifted in his seat, choosing his next words carefully. "Jay told me a few weeks ago. We talked after work one night. He was convinced Lonnie was guilty. Erin, he's been stalking the guy to the point where he was slapped with a restraining order. He seemed almost obsessed with bringing him to justice, so I told him to be careful. I'm not sure he was listening, though."

Erin just stared into the night through the windshield, processing what Antonio just shared with her. It made sense, in a way. It certainly explained why he made her stop in front of the Rodiger home the other day. _But it also doesn't make sense. If Jay had planned to do this, why would he make himself such a target? This whole thing…_ "It doesn't proof anything," Erin said.

Antonio shook his head, "Maybe not, but it speaks to motive…"

"No," Erin interrupted him, speaking more loudly. "It doesn't proof anything," she said again. Giving Antonio one last look, she started the engine to the car. "I need to go." The tone in her voice made it clear that the conversation was over.

* * *

**Inside Erin's car en route to Jay's apartment, Chicago, Illinois  
15 January, 2014 - 21:29 CST**

After three rings, she heard the call being picked up. "Voight," she heard the familiar voice over her bluetooth headset.

"Hank, it's Erin."

"How are you holding up, kiddo," he asked her concerned.

Ignoring the question, she asked, "What are we going to do about helping Jay?"

There was a brief silence before Voight answered. "There's nothing we can do. We've been ordered to stand down given that he's one of our own."

Erin laughed bitterly, "Yeah, that's right, Hank. He's one of our own. One of our own," she repeated. "Doesn't that account for something? Whatever happened to 'Innocent until proven guilty'? Whatever happened to 'We're family, and nothing is more important than family'?

"Erin," he tried to interrupt her, but she just kept going.

"Are we just going to sit back instead of finding out what happened? Is this how we take care of each other when the shit hits the fan?" She was upset, and with every word she spoke she felt more upset about and ashamed of her earlier passiveness and the behavior of her colleagues. "Is this how you wanted to handle things when Justin got in trouble, just stand down and let others take care of it?"

There was another silence on the line, but she could hear Voight's breathing being heavier than normal, and she knew him well enough to know that he was pissed.

"Erin, you don't know what Halstead did or did not do."

"You are right, I don't," she acknowledged. "But I'll be damned if I sit on my ass instead of trying to find out."

* * *

Author's Notes: Wednesday will be a tough episode to watch – saw the Linseride preview on Youtube tonight and am NOT happy at all. At least we should find out that Halstead didn't do it. My money is on Lonnie's dad killing his own son.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's notes: Yup, I called it – Lonnie's dad did the deed! I continue to be amazed and deeply moved by how much you guys seem to like this story. Thank you! For those of you who missed Jay in the last chapter – if you look at the timeline, chapter 2 took place before and while Jay was in the bar getting drunk. But I promise there will be plenty of Linstead moments below and in future chapters… Enjoy this next part. As always, I greatly welcome any and all feedback. Please review!

_Italics denotes thoughts._

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Outside Jay's apartment building, Chicago, Illinois  
****15 January, 2014 - 21:56 CST**

Erin walked up to the lobby of Jay's apartment building, her arms wrapped around her midsection. It helped her fight off the bitter cold, and it also provided her with a small sense of comfort at a moment she otherwise felt no comfort at all. _I'm a horrible partner and an even worse friend, _she thought to herself as she walked up to the door and stepped into the lobby. _Please be home, Jay, _she wished as she rung the buzzer to his apartment.

As the seconds ticked by with no answer, she sighed and nervously shifted her weight back and forth. Hitting the buzzer again and again, all she was greeted with was silence. She was about to turn away when someone opened the interior door to leave the building, allowing Erin to sneak inside. Nodding her thanks, she rushed up the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator.

When she was outside of Jay's apartment, she pulled out her phone and dialed his number again. She listened to it ring over the speaker, but no matching ringtone was audible through Jay's apartment door. When the call went into voicemail, she smiled sadly and said: "Jay, it's Erin. Again. Please call me when you get this. I really need to speak with you."

* * *

**A bar near Jay's home, Chicago, Illinois  
****15 January, 2014 - 22:02 CST**

Jay looked at his IPhone on the table as it was ringing for the fourth time in the past 20 minutes. _Don't you get it, Lindsay, _he thought angrily. _I really don't want to talk to you right now. _Not that he wasn't somewhat tempted to pick up and find out what she had to say for herself, or to at least listen to the three voicemails she had left him earlier.

His vision was slightly blurry, and he wasn't sure if it was from being drunk or from fighting back the tears in his eyes. On the screen of his phone, he was watching Erin's picture that he had linked to her number – a shot he had secretly taken of her while she was driving.

It had been a sunny winter morning and her face and hair were illuminated by the sunlight, giving her an almost ethereal quality. She was flashing one of her signature smiles that brought out her adorable dimples as she was watching the street in front of her. _I even remember what I had told her that brought on that smile right before I took this, _he thought with a heavy heart.

Seeing the call end, he shifted his focus back to the shot glass in front of him as he brought it to his lips, welcoming another chance to numb his pain.

* * *

**Outside Jay's apartment, Chicago, Illinois  
****15 January, 2014 - 22:24 CST**

Sitting on the steps outside of Jay's apartment door, Erin stared at her phone, wishing he would call her back. Typing one text message after the other, she always looked at what she wrote before erasing everything over and over again, the words never being exactly right, never being what she really wanted to say to him.

_Why is it that when you are miserable, time doesn't move at all, and when you are happy, time passes by way too quickly, _she mused when she realized how little time she had spent waiting so far.

Her thoughts wandered back to what Antonio had shared with her. _Why didn't you talk to me about what was going on in your life, Jay? Why could you tell Antonio, but not me? I could have done something if I had known._ Her gaze fell on the phone in her hand. _Well, I can do something now. _

She opened her address book, found the number and hit dial. When the call was picked up, she said, "I need your help with locating Jay."

* * *

**District 21 Police Department, Chicago, Illinois  
****15 January, 2014 - 22:37 CST**

"There you are," Jin said, looking at the locator ping on his screen. He picked up the phone and called her back. "Erin, I found him. He's close by."

Erin sighed in relief. "Thanks, Jin, I owe you. Can you text me the address?"

"Of course," he replied. "And Erin? Good luck."

She was about to hang up when she saw the time on her phone. _That was way too fast – these searches normally take longer. _"Hey Jin? How were you able to get the trace done in 10 minutes, especially since you weren't in the office when I called you?"

"I never said I wasn't in the office, Erin," he answered, silently cursing himself for that answer and for not waiting a little longer to call her back. _She's like a fucking pitbull. She won't let this go until she knows. _

Erin frowned, looking at the phone in her hand. _He's right, I never asked and just assumed that he wasn't. But what is he doing there? Everybody left long before me!_ There was a brief silence as Erin gathered her thoughts. "Jin," she said in a tone that made him cringe, knowing full well that she had caught on to him. "What the hell is going on? And don't bullshit me! This is way too important to play games with."

_Yeah, and so is keeping my job,_ he thought. _She's going to find out anyway, _he reasoned with himself, sighed and said, "You did not hear this from me. Voight called me in about an hour ago, asking me to dig into the case. Off the books and under the radar. I was already running the trace when you called me."

A small smile came to Erin's face, the first time in hours that she felt good about something, anything. _I may have pissed Hank off, but I guess I'm not the only one feeling guilty right now._ "Thanks, Jin. For doing that. I gotta go. Don't forget to text me the address."

* * *

**A bar near Jay's home, Chicago, Illinois  
****15 January, 2014 - 22:51 CST**

Erin walked into the bar, hoping she would find Jay there. The quick drive over had been a blur, her mind pre-occupied with what she would say when she found him. As she entered the building, she had a good idea of what she wanted to tell him. But when her gaze fell on the familiar form sitting hunched over by himself at a corner table, all those words went out the window.

She nodded at the barkeeper, who gave her a curious look and waived her over to him.

"You here for Halstead," he asked her while he was cleaning some glasses.

She nodded, turning her head again to look at him at the table. "How much did he have," she inquired.

The bar keeper looked at her with a serious expression on his face. "More than enough for one night. I cut him off half an hour ago, but he refused to go home. Maybe you have more luck."

_It's gonna take a whole lot more than luck, _she thought. _I'll be lucky if he even talks to me. _She nodded at the barkeeper again before moving over to the corner table. He was facing the wall, with his back to the bar, and she couldn't tell if he was awake or passed out. If he was awake, she was pretty sure, though, that he did not know she was there.

"Jay," she said in a soft voice as she got close. His head jerked up, looking at her with a startled look on his face. Erin took in his red and puffy eyes. _He's been crying, _she realized and felt her heart break for him just a little more.

* * *

Jay didn't notice Erin until she was right next to him and spoke his name. So engrossed in his thoughts, he wasn't sure if he actually heard her voice or if he was imagining it, but he looked up to see her look at him, a look of sadness and concern on her face.

He wanted to be angry with her, hell, he was angry with her for not having his back, but when he saw her standing there, he also felt a sense of relief. _She cared enough to come and find me, _he thought as he was staring at her.

Realizing that he must look like shit, and suddenly feeling subconscious about having cried earlier, he turned his head away and wiped his eyes. "Hey," he said, the word barely audible. Clearing his throat, he said more loudly, "What do you want, Erin?" It came out harsher than he wanted to, but after being alone with his thoughts and too much booze for the past few hours, he wasn't exactly in a good state of mind.

* * *

_Yeah, I certainly deserve that, _Erin thought as she felt the sting of his words. _What do I want, _she wondered not for the first time that evening. _I want to go back. To earlier today when Voight stripped him and sent him home. To yesterday in the car, when he wouldn't explain what had happened at the Rodiger home. To last week, when I let him off the hook for not telling me what was bothering him._

She stood there for a moment in silence, just looking at him. He stopped wiping his eyes, but kept his gaze averted. Deciding to take a chance, Erin pulled up a chair closer to him from across the table, sat down and took his hand. "Jay, look at me." When he didn't, she said again. "Jay, look at me. Please?" He turned his head, his sad eyes studying her face.

"I'm so sorry," she said sincerely. "For not stepping up for you earlier today. This thing completely blindsided me. The Jay I know wouldn't do what you are accused of. But the Jay I know also used to talk to me. You used to tell me things, Jay, and I don't know when you stopped doing that. I'm sorry that I did not push you more to tell me what was going on for you when I asked you at the station last week. I tried, but I should have tried harder," she said as she was trying to read his face and see if her words registered with him.

* * *

Jay listened to her words, but between being drunk and the fact that he felt Erin caress the back of his hand with her thumb, he had a hard time focusing. What did become clear to him, though, was that he felt his anger at her starting to melt away.

_She's right, _he had to admit. _I used to be more open with her. _And deep down inside, he knew why it changed, why he had been more withdrawn from her. But knowing something and admitting it to yourself are two different things, and he was not ready to face that.

When she stopped talking, he swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm sorry, too," he said quietly, gently squeezing her hand. "I should have talked to you, before…," he trailed off for a moment before continuing. "Before everything just blew up and feel apart today. "

"It's not too late, Jay," Erin said as she stood up without letting go of his hand. "I'm going to bring you home, and tomorrow we will start working on figuring out what really happened. Okay?"

Seeing his nod of agreement, Erin pulled Jay to his feet and slowly led him out of the bar.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's notes: I can't believe it's almost another two weeks until we get a new episode. Oh well, at least I can keep myself entertained in my own little fantasy world full of Linstead… heh. Happy Easter holiday and enjoy this next part. Thank you for your continued interest in this story. As always, I greatly welcome any and all feedback. It means a lot to me if you leave a review and let me know what you think.

_Italics denote thoughts._

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Jay's Apartment, Chicago, Illinois  
****16 January, 2014 - 07:41 CST**

_It feels strange being here, _ Erin thought as she looked around Jay's living room while sipping from a cup of freshly brewed coffee. _He's been over to my apartment countless times since we've become partners. In fact, he's been there so often that it never occurred to me that I've never been to his place. _

She wandered around the living room, looking at the pictures on his walls, tables and dressers. She smiled when she saw a picture of Jay as a teenager in a high school football uniform. _I feel a little bit like I'm snooping. Would he be ok with me seeing all these, _ she wondered.

When she came to a small table in the corner, she saw a framed picture of Jay in his Army Rangers uniform. He was standing at attention while someone was pinning a medal to his chest. Next to the frame sat a closed velvet box. Without thinking about it, Erin reached for it and flipped it open. It contained a medal in the shape of a cross of bronze with an eagle in the center and a scroll with an inscription below it. "For Valor," Erin read out loud. _I don't know what this means, _ Erin thought, _but this looks like a big deal. He never talks about his service, but I'm curious to find out what happened. _

She carefully closed the box again and put it back in its place before sitting down on the couch, reflecting on the past 24 hours while waiting for Jay to wake up.

* * *

As the rays of the morning light made their way through the partially open bedroom blinds and danced over Jay's sleeping face, they slowly penetrated into his consciousness and woke him from his slumber. He sleepily opened one eye, the brightness of the room attacking his senses and compounding the throbbing headache he felt in his skull the moment he became conscious. Closing his eye again, he rolled over and let out a pained moan. _What… the… fuck… happened, _ he wondered, each word formulating in his mind causing him to wince in pain.

Remaining still for a few moments, he opened his eyes again and took in his surroundings. _Yup, definitely my bedroom,_ he realized. Looking down, he noticed that he was in his bed, or really more on his bed as he never seemed to have made it under his sheets or to properly undress for bed.

Taking a deep breath, he felt confused as the smell of fresh coffee wavered over to him. Curious to investigate, he slowly rose from the bed and groggily wandered out to the living room to find Erin Lindsay getting off his couch and flashing him a nervous smile. Seeing her in his apartments lifted some of the veil hovering over his foggy memory, and he started to remember pieces of last night's events.

"Hey, Jay," she said and smirked as she took in his disheveled look and bloodshot eyes. "I would say good morning, but it looks like you're having a rough start to it. Coffee?"

He shook his head. "Aspirin," he said with a hoarse voice as he slowly wandered over to the couch and plopped down.

"Yeah, I figured as much," she said and grabbed the glass of water and painkillers from the kitchen counter and handed them to him.

"Thanks," he said, put the pills in his mouth and carefully flushed them down. Continuing to sit there with his eyes closed for a minute, they shared a moment of silence as Jay collected his thoughts.

He turned his head to her and slowly opened his eyes to find her next to him on the couch, looking at him. _She's worried and nervous, _ he realized when he saw the look in her eyes and how she was biting the inside of her lip. He let out a sigh and said, "I know we have to talk about this."

Erin nodded. "Yeah, we do."

* * *

She held her breath, waiting for him to start. _I don't remember when the last time was I felt this nervous. Maybe when I dropped off Nadia that night and gave her the choice to determine her own path. I know I need to hear this from him, need to get his side of the story. But until you hear the words you are longing to hear, there always this nagging thought that you may never get to hear them. _

"I was so angry at you. And the team," he started, catching Erin by surprise. _Definitely not where I thought he would focus, _ she thought, the feeling of guilt that had been eating at her since yesterday being back in the pit of her stomach. "And when I went out last night to drown those feelings, I felt so alone, like you had all turned your back on me without giving me the benefit of the doubt."

Erin swallowed hard after hearing those words, and she opened her mouth to respond, "Jay…"

"Just listen, please," he interrupted her, his tone pleading and lacking any aggressiveness. Waiting for her to nod, he continued. "I know I've pushed you away recently. I know I've stopped talking to you about things, and I didn't tell you about Lonnie when you asked me about it. But despite all of that, you showed up. I've no idea how you found me in a place we've never been to together, but you did. And in that moment, it meant the world to me. Because it felt like you cared."

Listening to Jay, how hurt he had been and how important it was for him that she had found him, touched something inside of Erin. "I do care, Jay," she said, her voice full of emotions. "I've always cared."

Jay nodded at her and reached over to gently take her hand in his. "Good. Because I need you to believe in me. I need you to believe that I did not do this."

* * *

**District 21 Police Department, Chicago, Illinois**  
**16 January, 2014 - 10:23 CST**

"You're a man short," Sumner said as she stepped into the kitchen where Voight was looking out the window.

He turned around and looked at her. Putting his coffee cup down on the window sill, he took a step towards the detective, his eyes slightly narrowed. "Halstead is under investigation for murder, and you want to cash in on that?"

"I deserve to be in intelligence," Sumner said matter-of-factly. "An opportunity is an opportunity."

_I don't know what games you are playing, Sumner, but that move is not sitting well with me,_ Voight thought to himself.

Before he had a chance to say more, Jin knocked and entered the room. "Got a hit on the artificial hip. Dr. Richard Elliot. DNA consultant who testified for the state's attorney."

Voight recognized the name. "Yeah, I know him. Helped put away some major hitters."

Jin nodded. "His wife filed a missing person report on him yesterday."

"Nice work," Voight said, giving Jin a pat on the arm. Walking out of the kitchen, he turned around and looked at Sumner again. "Sumner, why don't you and Ruzek take a ride and talk to the wife."

Sumner looked at him surprised. "Thank you, Sir. I appreciate it." She passed Voight and grabbed Ruzek from his desk before quickly walking out to the parking lot. Voight stared after her, making sure she was gone.

Grabbing a folder from his desk, he walked out to the office where the rest of the team was waiting at their desks. He flipped over the whiteboard that had the photos of the Dr. Elliot case on it.

"Listen up," he said, as everyone was looking at him. "When we started this whole thing, I told you to come to me and tell me the truth so I could lie for you. There may have been some confusion on that part lately, but now more than ever, we keep everything in house." Looking at each team member, he pointed at them to emphasize his next point. "That also means no one, and I mean no one, talks about this outside of this group. Ruzek is keeping Sumner busy and away, but until this is done, you talk to me and to me alone."

Seeing his team nod, he opened the folder and slapped a photo of Lonnie Rodiger's dead body on the white board. "Lonnie Rodiger. I couldn't care less about his death, but it did cost us a member of our team. We were told to stand down and let other's investigate this. You will officially abide by that order and unofficially ignore it. I don't know if Halstead did it or not, but we will find out. Jin's got case files for each and every one of you."

"What if we find out that Halstead was the murderer," Antonio asked.

Lindsay whirled around and stared at him in disbelieve. "He didn't do it, Dawson," she snapped at him angrily.

"If he did it," Voight interrupted, "then we will let the IA investigation run its normal course. If he didn't do it, then we will make sure that comes to light. Either way, we need to know."

With everyone nodding, Voight clapped his hands together and barked, "Alright, go and beat the bushes. Figure out what the fuck happened and come back to me directly with what you find."


End file.
